Goodbye Hair!

Well I have decided that we all needed haircuts. Bob and Robbie got their heads buzzed and Abby and Elijah just got trims! Me well I have no hair left! It will take some time to get use to a buzz on MY head, but I am glad that it is gone and I don't have to worry about long pieces falling out in the next weeks.

Shelly was awesome and came over and cut our hair. This way we could do it as a family and it was a private thing. I thought I would cry but just laughed! Especially at the "mohawk"!! Once the hair was gone and I looked in the mirror I did get a bit teary for a moment but I am ok. I like wearing hats and with many many thanks to some wonderful women I will have tons of them!!!

So I am guessing you all want to see pictures huh??!! Well here they are! A picture of each person getting their cut and then a family photo of us before my hair is gone. That will be the last one of me with hair for awhile!! Then of course me getting my hair cut and the fun we had with it. And another family photo after the fact.

Oh and the kids LOVE rubbing my head!!

THRUSH!! UGH!

I was so lucky to spend the day at the hospital today!!! Ya! NOT!!!! I have a cold but I have thrush from chemo too. I am also dehydrated. They gave me fluids, antibiotics and rinses for my mouth. When I was getting ready to leave my nurse and dr were still concerned about me. But I am trying to drink like crazy even though it hurts. I am sure after a couple of rinses my mouth will start to feel better. At least I hope so!!


I have to go tomorrow for genetic testing and counseling. While I am there I have to check in with my nurse and let her know how I am doing. 


Thurs the dr. will call me to see how I am doing, Monday is another trip to Hartford for a follow up visit with the dr. Then chemo on Thurs and a shot on Friday! Looks like another busy couple of weeks! 


All I can do is take one day at a time. That is all God wants us to do anyways! Even though I am still feeling icky from the thrush and cold, my spirits are up a bit. It really helps to know that the nurses and doctors that are helping you are really concerned about you and that it isn't just a job. The level of care that I am getting at the Cancer Center is great! I am so glad that God brought me to that place to get my treatment. 


I also want to thank a special lady that came over today and helped with some house stuff while we were at the hospital. Thank you Ann!!! I love you!

The Long Haul

The past few days I have been feeling very discouraged about how LONG this treatment plan is going to be. I feel so yucky all the time and just want to feel normal again. Is there such a thing?? I have just started on this journey and I am already exhausted. I am resting when I can and eating to try to keep up my strength. I am weak all the time and right now my ears and chest feel all congested and I think I am trying to fight this nasty cold. This is not easy to do when all these chemicals are fighting my immune system.

I know God will give me the strength to get through all of this.

After a break from my computer I am now feeling a bit better. I have the best friends and family and HUBBY!!! The love and kindness is almost overwhelming at times. I am so thankful to God for each of you!

Tomorrow some wonderful ladies will be coming over to un-decorate the house and get things organized for us. It will feel so good to have things in their place and other stuff just gone! I am tired of the constant mess and clutter. My kids may not like it when they get home but I bet they won't even notice what is missing with all the new presents they just got!!

God only gives us what we can handle. Guess He is going to make me strong enough to handle this!!

Dec 26th

We had an amazing Christmas. It began WAY too early but the excitement in my children was precious! By 6am all the presents had been opened and toys were being played with while Mommy and Daddy sat back and watched, and tried to wake up!! LOL
Abby got a HUGE doll house from "santa", painted by his elves(thanks girls!!)

Robbie got 2 books from the Diary of A Wimpy Kid series and LOVES them!!

Eli got a lot of different things and loved them all!!! He got a build it robot that he just loves taking apart and putting back together!

3 of the 5 of us napped mid morning so that we would be in good moods for going to Grandma and Grandpa's for lunch and round 2 of presents.

It was so nice to be around family all day. God has truly blessed us with an amazing family and extended family. I am so thankful for all of them. All the nieces and nephews playing together was great. Brooke and Abby the only 2 girls were so cute putting princess puzzles together while all the boys played cars and trucks!

I hope your Christmas was as precious and special as ours was!!

Christmas Eve

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

As the Advent season approached and I was diagnosed with cancer we had little reason to celebrate this year. It was a struggle to get into the spirit of Christmas. In the past few weeks so much has happened and I have actually started treating this disease and feel like we are finally taking action to kick this!!

Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ our Savior. With out Him I would have no hope, no strength, no comfort to get me through this trial. But I have him as my Savior and HE has given me hope, strength, comfort and the love and support of all of you to help me and my family through this. There is so much to celebrate this Christmas! JESUS!!!

I am also looking at Christmas through the eyes of my children. Their innocence of the impact of what I am going through and just the pure excitement of Christmas! Plus I know what they are getting!!! I know how excited they will be to get what was on their wish lists!

On a "how am I feeling" note, I am still fighting the nausea. The meds help but it still comes in waves and then I have to have ginger ale and saltines to help. I am a little tired but not so much that I can't function some what anyways!! My goal today is to rest so that I have a bit more energy tomorrow! Oh and I FINALLY get my shower after 3 days (since I got my port put in)!! That should help me feel better too!!!

Luke 2:1-21 (ESV)

 ¹In those days^(A) a decree went out from^(B) Caesar Augustus that all the world should be^(C) registered. ²This was the first^(D) registration when^[a] Quirinius^(E) was governor of Syria. ³And all went to be registered, each to his own town. ⁴And Joseph also went up^(F) from Galilee, from the town of^(G) Nazareth, to Judea, to^(H) the city of David, which is called^(I) Bethlehem,^(J) because he was of the house and lineage of David, ⁵to be registered with Mary, his betrothed,^[b] who was with child. ⁶And^(K) while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. ⁷And she gave birth to her firstborn son and^(L) wrapped him in swaddling cloths and^(M) laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in^(N) the inn.

 ⁸And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. ⁹And an angel of the Lord^(O) appeared to them, and^(P) the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. ¹⁰And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all^(Q) the people. ¹¹For^(R) unto you is born this day in^(S) the city of David^(T) a Savior, who is^(U)Christ^(V) the Lord. ¹²And^(W) this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby^(X) wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." ¹³And suddenly there was with the angel^(Y) a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

 ^14(Z) "Glory to God^(AA) in the highest,
   ^(AB) and on earth^(AC) peace among those with whom he is pleased!"^[c]

 ¹⁵When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us." ¹⁶And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby^(AD) lying in a manger. ¹⁷And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. ¹⁸And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. ¹⁹But^(AE) Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.²⁰And the shepherds returned,^(AF) glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.

 ²¹And^(AG) at the end of eight days, when he was circumcised,^(AH) he was called Jesus, the name given by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.

What a week!

What a crazy week of appointments!
Now that all the tests are done and the port is in AND I have completed my first treatment of chemo I thought I would update you all on how it went.

Friday's MUGA(heart) test went well. I had to have an IV for the radioactive dye. Test was pretty easy though, you just lay there still!

Monday was the CT and Bone scans. This was NOT a pleasant day. I had the IV radioactive dye and then I was put in the waiting room with 2 LARGE containers of "Berry Smoothie" aka barium I had to drink. It didn't taste bad it was just sooooooooooooooooooooo much of it!!! UGH! THEN I got to the CT scan and had 2 more injections of radioactive dye!! I think I was glowing when I left. LOL

Tues was the port installation. Sounds technical huh?!! LOL We ended up waiting  1 1/2hrs past when I was suppose to go in because of a couple of emergencies they had to do. I was ok up until they rolled me into the operating room. Then I started crying. The drs quickly got me laughing and that helped a lot. I kept feeling sharp sticks so they kept giving me more meds. After the procedure they gave me a percacet for a headache so waking up from sedation on top of taking a perc was not easy! I was very sore and the tape they put on was a bit over done!! Plus it was pulling my skin so I couldn't move my head.

Today was chemo. We met with the dr first and as soon as she walked in the room she said "All the scans came back negative"! She wanted that to be said and out of the way!!! The heart test was normal, and the CT and bone scans showed nothing but the tumor in the breast (approx 2.3cm) and the lymph nodes and that is what we knew about. The CT did show some cysts that could be from a fibroid in my uterus and on my ovaries. That is something we will have to look at down the road. I don't have any symptoms for those issues but they are not cancer related!!! I am praising God that there is nothing else!!

Chemo went well with the exception of one hiccup. My chest got a little tight and we are not sure if it was from forgetting to take my advair or from the steriod. We are just going to watch it. I have been super hyper since I finished chemo. I am trying really hard to lay low so that I don't hurt myself!! LOL I have to be super careful for another day or 2 because of the port. With in the next couple of days there will be a day that I am just exhausted but then I should get some energy back.

Next week I go for bloodwork so they can check my levels to see how low they go. This is what they will be watching all thru treatment. They watch my white blood cells and platelets (cbc panel). I am also going next week for the genetic counseling/testing. This will give us a lot of information that will help determine what surgery I will have to have.

So in all it has been a crazy week and very tiring. I am thankful that it is almost over and I have some down time before I have to go to Hartford again. My next chemo is Jan 6th.

God has blessed me with such comfort and strength to get through all these tests and the first treatment. I know there will be rough days but I will just enjoy the good days while they are here and lean on God for the not so good ones!!

Oh and if you see me remind me to drink!!! This helps flush the chemo out of my bladder, kidneys and liver!!

Warrior is a Child

This is how I have been feeling lately. I want to cry but not sure why. I am nervous and a little scared, but I know that God will get me through this. I know He has his reason for all of this. Everyone says how strong I am but deep down I just want to cry and cry.  I don't feel strong. I guess as I get closer to starting treatment it is becoming more and more real. I am sure I am just rambling here but I just need to get it out. Right now I don't want to be strong, I just want to be that little kid that is in tears held in her Father's arms and Him telling me it is going to be ok. Lord I pray for your loving arms to hold me and comfort me and tell me that it is going to be ok. 

Warrior is a Child~Twila Paris

..People say that I'm amazing

Strong beyond my years

But they don't see inside of me

I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down

They don't know who picks me up when no one is around

I drop my sword and cry for just a while

'Cause deep inside this armor

The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best

But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest

People say that I'm amazing

Never face retreat

But they don't see the enemies

That lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down

They don't know who picks me up when no one is around

I drop my sword and and cry for just a while

'Cause deep inside this armor

the warrior is a child