This too shall pass.....I hope!

It have been a very rough couple of weeks. I was having ear pain so I had an APRN look at my ears. The one ear looked fine and the other one had fluid but wasn't infected. Well within 3 days I had a terrible ear infection and sinus infection. I was put on a Z-Pak for 5 days. On day 5 I was still in pain. The next day was Sat and I went to the CVS minute clinic. The APRN there put me on another antibiotic for the sinus infection and the ear infection had cleared up. She put me on Omnicef which is a type of Penicillin. That night I saw a rash and wondered if an allergic reaction could be in one spot. On Sunday I was still in pain and itchy from the rash. I also felt like my throat was thick but didn't really worry about it. On Monday, I took the meds again and my throat felt thick again. As the morning went on I noticed that my throat was feeling tight, my tongue felt funny and I was having a hard time swallowing. I called my mother in law to take Eli and my friend to bring me to the ER as I was pretty sure I was having an allergic reaction to the new meds. They gave me benadryl, ativan and a steroid to end the reaction. After sleeping from the meds, when I woke up I felt so much better! They gave me a new med for the sinus infection and sent me home. I had to follow up with my doctor in a day or two. I then saw my regular doctor on Tuesday and she looked at my rash. She then informed me that she thought I had shingles!!!! I had to call her later that day or the next morning if it spread. I ended up calling her after hours service and was put on an antiviral med for the shingles.

Thursday I had my heart CT scan. That was a very horrible experience. They blew 2 veins when they put the contrast in for the test. Also the contrast that they use for this makes your entire insides feel like they are on fire! It is like horrid heartburn over your entire body. I am glad it was quick and that it is over. Now I am just waiting for this coming Thursday when I will be meeting with my cardiologist and then my oncologist to find out the results and hopefully start back on the herceptin.

Now I am a week out from being diagnosed with shingles and my arm that is prone to lymphedema has swollen up and become VERY painful. I saw the APRN at the center today and she confirmed that yup I have shingles and that it looks like they haven't blistered yet but are about to! How fun!! I also have to watch my arm. If it starts feeling warm or turning red and getting more painful then I have to go back to see them. Other wise I am just waiting for my appt on Monday with my lymphedema therapist.

Needless to say I am ready for a break in issues that are plaguing me.  Amidst all these issues I was able to see my mom, her hubby, my sister, brother in law and nephew. It was a wonderful day. It was so nice to see them all again and to finally do "Christmas" with them!!

I know that God has a reason for all that I am going through. It will make me stronger but I am ready for this trial to be over. The end of treatments and surgeries can't come soon enough. I am hanging in and holding on to God's promise that He will never leave me.

Winter 2011-2012

It has been a long time since I have posted here. So much has happened since then! We had a wonderful Christmas with family. The kids were spoiled and had a great time.

Before Christmas on Dec 13,2011 I had a hysterectomy/ oophorectomy.  They had found a polyp on one of my fallopian tubes during a regular ultra sound. They wanted me to have a D&C but I wasn't happy with that decision. I was suppose to get regular scans to make sure that I didn't develop ovarian cancer as that is related to the breast cancer. I would be scanned every 3months for the next 5yrs until I was 40 when they would do a hysterectomy/ oophorectomy.

After talking with my oncologist and my APRN we decided that the surgery would be the best way to go for me. I was already in temporary menopause so we were hoping that the side effects from surgery wouldn't be too different. We thought that this would be less stressful than being tested every 3 months, and if they found something then I would have a D&C and wait for the results for the next 5 years.

As we were planning this surgery I contacted all the doctors to make sure I could still do the Jan surgery.  All of them said that it would be fine. Well that is what all of the offices told me, but little did I know that the doctors were not on that same page!!  As I was discussing this surgery with my GYN oncologist I asked again about the Jan surgery. He said that there was no way he would say 5 weeks between surgeries would be enough. He called the other doctors and they agreed that it wasn't long enough. I was upset to push out the reconstruction but realized it was for the best. I called my surgeon's office and discovered that the next opening was in April. I booked it, hung up the phone and bawled my eyes out! I was devastated, but quickly tried to settle with the fact that this was for the best.

My hysterectomy went smoothly. Auntie Linda came up and took me and stayed with me after my surgery. Bob had started a new job the day before I was scheduled so he couldn't come with me.  Although he was able to come and stay until I went into surgery. That was thanks to Linda forgetting her phone at the house! Bob came to see me after work. By that time I was not quite as drugged and could carry on a conversation. The 3 of us had dinner together and then they headed home.

As I approached the 5wk out mark, I was glad I had postponed the Jan surgery. I continued to heal and continued to have my herceptin treatments. Herceptin can cause heart issues, so I have been having MUGA scans to check on my heart function, every 3 months. Bob's new insurance kicked in and we found out that they wouldn't cover the MUGA so we had to get an echo cardiogram.  I do not have a baseline echo and the doctors thought they saw something. To be sure that it wasn't an issue, I then was scheduled for a nuclear stress test. That is a stress test without the running/walking. Instead they inject a radioactive dye that causes your blood vessels to open up and simulate you exercising. It is easier to see the heart this way. It isn't fun though!!  I then wait for those results.  Everything they saw looked great, the problem (you had to know that was coming!! LOL) is that they couldn't see the front of my heart. Soooooooo, herceptin is still on hold and I will be going for a CT scan on Thurs.  I am expecting this to show that my heart is fine and continue with the herceptin next week.

Through all of this Robert has been struggling with his temper. He is very stressed out about school and the CMTs (Connecticut Mastery Tests) that are starting next month. We are working on different areas with him to help him learn how to "be angry and sin not".  We are seeing small improvements and are happy with the small victories.

We all have been fighting different viruses. Abby had pneumonia, Robert had croup and then breathing problems from it, so he is now on an inhaler for the time being. Eli is doing well, but we have discovered that if he gets a bad enough headache he will throw up like his dad and sister. Bob has been pretty healthy and I have had an ear infection and a horrible sinus infection. We are all on the mend and hopefully we will stay that way!

I just keep reminding myself that God is in control and He knows about everything that is going on. He has blessed me with an amazing husband and wonderful friends and family.

November 2011

This month has had it's ups and downs.
At the end of October we were faced with ultra sound results that showed a polyp in my uterus. With this new discovery came new decisions. My GYN wanted me to have a D&C to clean out the polyp. I started thinking about a total hysterectomy. If I had the D&C, I would continue to be tested every 3 months for the next 5 years, until I was 40 and then they would do the hysterectomy. I thought about this and didn't feel like going through checks every 3 months and then if they found something having the D&C and then waiting for the results praying that they were negative for cancer cells. We talked to my oncologist and my APRN oncologist and the 4 of us decided that it would be better, in my case, for me to have the hysterectomy and not to continue the tests for the next 5 years. This was such a relief that both drs. agreed with what I wanted to do. Dec 2nd I go for my pre-op appt with my GYN oncologist and then on Dec 13th I will be having my total hysterectomy. This is for prevention not for treatment.  My surgery for mastectomy and reconstruction is still scheduled for Jan 17, 2012.

On Nov 9th I completed my final treatment of Navelbine chemo. I was so glad to be done but also went through the grieving process of finishing a treatment. It amazes me how something good can still have a grieving process. But that is how it works with cancer treatments. Part of you morns when you finish a treatment because now you are not "actively" fighting it. This chemo was to help the herceptin work better so it was preventative and not actually fighting anything. The herceptin will continue until June 2012. After that point we are praying for the NED (No Evidence of Disease).

On Nov 15th Abigail had "surgery" to have tubes put in her ears. She had "gunky" fluid in her ears for over 3 months so they decided this would be the best thing for her. She also failed the hearing test in both ears at the ENT. She did VERY well and was so brave! I was so proud of her. She has been doing great since and is hearing so much better!

We spent Thanksgiving with my inlaws. It was a wonderful day full of food, family and fun!! We haven't spent Thanksgiving with Bob's family in a long time. Usually we see my family as we see his family every week. It was a nice change and it was good to just stay "home".  I have been very tired lately, even more than when I was on chemo. I have also been fighting a virus and am on my 2nd antibiotic of the season.

I heard a song on the radio a couple of weeks ago and it said exactly what we have been going through this past year. The only difference from the song is that I was 34 at the time of diagnosis.

Martina McBride – I’m Gonna Love You Through It
She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don’t discriminate
Or care if you’re just Thirty-Eight
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said I know that you’re afraid and I am too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry
I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
And now it’s forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
And she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said I don’t think I can do this anymore
He took her in his arms and said
That’s what my love is for
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry
I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it
Oh baby
And when this road gets too long
I’ll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it
I’m gonna love you through it
I’m gonna love you through it

God is still in control and HE will continue to carry me through this challenge.  He will give me the strength and comfort I need to get through the next 4 months of surgery and recovery. I know He will also give my husband the strength he need and the comfort my children need. Soon we will be on the other side of this and be stronger for it.




October 2011

I can't believe another month has passed. This chemo is flying by! I only have 2 treatments left to go.
I had my scheduled ultra sound to keep an eye on my ovaries and uterus. I was told by the tech (never believe them!) that all looked ok. About a week and a half ago I received a call from my GYN Oncologist saying they found something on my ovary. I later found out that no my ovaries are fine but they did find a polyp in my uterus.

This scare made me rethink about getting tested every 3 months for the next 5 years. Every time they find something then I would have to go through a D&C (minor day surgery) to have it removed and tested. This is a whole lot more stressful than I was planning it would be.

After talking with my oncologist and my APRN and getting their opinions on this matter we decided that it would be in my best interest to do a full hystorectomy. I then called my GYN and she tried to talk me out of it. In the end she said "So you have basically made up your mind?" I replied "Basically".  I will be seeing my GYN Oncologist on Dec 2nd. I am hoping that having this surgery in Dec won't mess up my mastectomy/reconstruction surgery in Jan. Jan 17th to be exact! I want everything done so I can move on past Cancer and live my life.

January Surgery:

I will be going in on Jan 17th early in the morning. My mom, dad, Lisa and maybe my Aunt Linda will be here for the surgery. I know my mom will be staying for 3 or more days but I don't know how long anyone else is staying. I will be in the hospital for 5 days. Recovery will be 4 to 6 weeks. They will be doing what is called a Tram flap reconstruction with the 2nd mastectomy. They will do an incision from hip to hip and move the muscle and fat up for the reconstruction. So I get a mini tummy tuck out of this!! LOL

It will be a long recovery but we feel this is out best option given my age and the status of my skin at this point. If I was to have implants then in 10-12 yrs I would have to have them replaced if nothing went wrong with them before that point. Being almost 35 that would be another 4+ surgeries that would not be needed over my lifetime. The dr. can't say this will be my last surgery but it will be less than if I had implants. We are praying this is the last surgery.

On a very happy note, this month we celebrated Robert's 8th birthday!!! It is so hard to believe that my first born is already 8 years old and in the 3rd grade!! Time sure does fly.  He had his first "friend only" party and then a party with family. Everyone had a great time and I was fully exhausted by the end of the weekend!!







I am now headed toward November. 2 treatments left, my birthday and Thanksgiving. Minus any snow we get it will be a great month!!!

I am so thankful for all that God had blessed me with and how He continues to bless me even through this trial.

September 2011

September 4th, 2011
My family went to church today while I stayed home. I wasn't feeling well from the chemo. I was able to get some good rest while they were gone. When they returned home Bob told me that he thought Abby and Robert were ready. They had communion at church and the kids were asking a lot of questions on the way home. After we had lunch Bob and I took the kids into our room and talked with them about asking God to forgive them of their sins and getting saved. Both said that they wanted to do that and then individually they prayed, with very little help from us and they both asked for forgiveness and that God would save them from their sins!! We and the Angels rejoiced!!!

September 6th, 2011
Robert started 3rd grade and Abby started 1st grade. Elijah will start his last year of preschool on Thurs. Where did the time go???








Chemo:
Things are going ok.  I am tired come the afternoons and I am battling the nausea again. 5 weeks down and only 7 more to go!! I am using a nausea patch this week to see if that works better and only a day out and I am already seeing a difference!! I am more tired but at least I am not nauseated!!!

I saw my LE PT for the first time on Wed. She gave me lots of exercises and I will see her again on Monday. That is when she will do the massage and wrap me. I am going to be sweating like mad!! It is suppose to be near 80 next week and the hot flashes are bad as it is!!! I won't get fitted for a sleeve until a month out of chemo as the steroids are bloating me out like crazy!! My face is all round and puffy!!! I don't want to get fitted for a sleeve and then have to get another one when the puffiness and swelling go down.




Summer 2011

2 weeks after radiation ended we went on vacation. It was fantastic to be able to rest and relax.

We started our vacation by heading to MA for my Aunt Catherine's birthday party. It was at her friend's parent's house. They had a pool, tons of food and lots of fun. The kids had a blast and it was so good to see my aunts again!!!








My father in law's cousin has a house on Lake Wallunpawpak in the Poconos Mountains of PA. They felt that we needed a vacation from the difficult year we have had and let us stay at the house for a week. This was the first time we went on vacation just the 5 of us. Usually we visit family and friends, which we did at the end of the week, but it was just US and it was so much fun. The kids had a blast in the lake, in the kayak, swimming, in the hot tub and feeding all the ducks!!

Tuesday it was suppose to rain all day again so we decided to go to the National Train Museum in Scranton, PA. Turns out that if they say rain, it will be nice and if they say sunny it will rain!! Anyways we went and had a lot of fun. We road the train and Robert even earned a Junior Ranger badge!






One day we spent the whole day at the lake. We cooked over the fire pit and the kids played in the water, Daddy took each kid out in the kayak and Mommy was able to sit in the shade and watch everyone and read! After dinner it was time for a dip in the hot tub!! Did I mention we LOVED the hot tub!!!





















The week came to an end and we packed up and headed to my aunt and uncle's house in Southern PA. On the way down we went to the Crayola Factory. It was a lot of fun for the kids and they got a lot of "prizes"!! It also helped to break up the ride down.






We were able to spend 3 days with my aunt, uncle and cousins. We went school shopping and swimming!! On Monday, Linda, Bob and I fixed the heater for their hot tub and we were able to enjoy the warm hot tub again!!! It was perfect timing!! During this vacation Elijah was brave and would swim all around the pool with his vest on, even the deep end!! Robert learned how to swim completely with out a vest now!! He even knows how to swim under water without holding his nose, something his mom has never mastered!! Abby had her own achievement, she stood on the bottom of the pool, not just on the steps!! This is so huge for her as she does not like the feeling of floating! Such a great Summer Vacation!!






After a wonderful week we headed home to see our kitties that had missed us very much!! Only 2 weeks until school starts!!!

Aug 25th 2011
Today I start my 2nd round of chemo. This time should be milder and I should be able to handle it better. I should keep my hair, which is coming in curly, too!!! This is week one only 11 more weeks to go!!