Rads Done and Weekend Fun!!

On Monday I finished my radiation. My skin did really well until the 3rd of 5 boosts. That is when my scar started to peel. Almost a week later and I am still sore and peeling but hopefully things will start to improve this week. They say  that after about a week your skin starts to heal.

I am so glad that this phase of treatment is over. Now I have a month off and then I will begin the next round of chemo. During this month off we also have vacation!! My father in law's cousin gave us their house for a week in the Poconos!!! It is so beautiful there and peaceful. We will be right on the lake and it is going to be a great time of family and relaxation!!

We start our vacation on a Sat when we go to my Aunt Catherine's party and then Sunday to my sister in law's parents church and then to the Poconos. On Friday we will pack up and head down to my Aunt Linda's house near Lancaster, PA! Monday we head back home and Thursday I start chemo.

This weekend was an AMAZING weekend!! My dad, who I haven't seen in 12yrs, came down and arrived here at 2:30am on Sat morning.  When we all got up in the morning we had breakfast and chatted for awhile. My dad had called me the week before and when he left a message he said "Hi, this is Bob from Maine..." I told him that he could say "This is your dad..." He wasn't sure as he wasn't around for so many years. I told him " You are here now!" He was happy about that.  Around 2pm we took the kids to my inlaws and they watched them while Bob, Dad and I went to the Relay For Life. Bob drove his car and I rode on the motorcycle with my dad. It was so much fun!!! I don't want a motorcycle, but I surely will ride with my dad anytime!!!

At the Relay we walked the Survivor lap and then went to the Survivor dinner. Before the lap I was able to meet up with a friend from my Breast Cancer board. It was great to meet someone who has traveled the path that I am on. It was good talking with her.

Bob and my dad were my "Caregivers". I thought about this and realized that there is no way I could have ALL of my caregivers with me. I have had so many people that I consider my caregivers. There are all of my friends and family that have been here physically to help with my care, the kids and the house. There are also all of my friends and family that couldn't be here physically but where there emotionally for support. And then there are all those friends online that sent me cards and gifts and provided support online. I have been blessed with so many people that have taken care of me in so many different ways. I am so thankful for all of your love and support through this trial. I love you all.

My dad and Bob walked over to the dinner, while I got a ride in a golf cart as my feet were sore.  As I passed my dad and Bob, my dad pretended like he was racing us. It was too funny!! He is a riot! The speaker was very good and the food was great! We walked around the track again after dinner and then headed for home.

We got to my inlaws house and chatted with them for a little while before bringing the kids home and getting them in bed. Once they were out we chatted some more and headed to bed as we were all exhausted. What a great day it was!

Today my dad had to head home. I made breakfast as my dad played with the kids. It was such a joy to hear my kids and dad playing and laughing. They fell in love with him from the get go!! We were concerned about how Abby would do with her sensory stuff but she did great!!

After breakfast the kids and Bob got ready and headed to church. I stayed and got ready and my dad got ready to go. We chatted some more and then it was time to say good bye. It was hard as I had so much fun getting to know my dad and I know that he had a blast with us too! As he got ready to leave we hugged and I told him I loved him. He said he loved me too. I think this was one of the first times I was able to tell him that I loved him. We waved as he drove away and on my way to church I was in tears as it was such an amazing weekend and I missed him already. Robert cried at church as he missed Grandpa Forrest already too. We are looking forward to him coming down in the fall!!

Cancer is a horrible disease but through this trial, God gave me my dad back and if nothing else good came out of this, getting my dad back would be enough. I am so so blessed!!

July 4th Celebration

At the end of the school year Abby received an award for reading. Once the child can read a certain level book by themselves and can comprehend what they read they become a "First Reader". This is a new program in Enfield. She got a medal at school and at the end of the year we found out that she was going to be in the parade for the 4th of July celebrations in town.

So we went to the parade and walked part of the way and then rode the rest of the way. She did great! She got a new shirt before the parade. When it was over they had a ceremony where they took pictures and gave each child a book mark and a sheet of coupons! It was a great day!!

Abby and her friend Liam from school.

Sooner than Later

I saw my plastic surgeon a week ago. This was the first time I met him and he was really nice. He looked at my skin that is being radiated and he said that it looks really good. I have an appointment with him on Sept 30 to see how I am healing. I will be on chemo at that point. He said that it is up to my oncologist if I can have reconstruction during chemo. Knowing that this chemo will wipe out my white blood cells I pretty much knew that she would say no. I was right!! So hopefully by Jan/Feb I will be able to have my reconstruction. That is a whole 6 months sooner than I thought!!!! I am so excited!!

I had my 2nd herceptin treatment on Thurs. I ended up sitting beside an older woman who also has HER2 positive breast cancer. It was nice talking to someone traveling the same road I am. The funny thing is that she has a vacation home in NH and actually knew where Colebrook was!!!

They did the treatment over an hour instead of 1 1/2hrs and I felt more nauseaous when I got home than I did the last time. I am going to ask if they can slow it down again the next time. I have also not been able to sleep. My radiation oncologist gave me a prescription for ambien but it isn't helping a whole lot. When I spoke to my dr. today she said that the chemo could have effected the sleep section of my brain. Chemo brain is the worst!!

Today was treatment #14 of 33 and we just keep marching on. God is carrying me through these hard days and giving me the strength to do what is needed and being able to enjoy my children!

Radiation and Reconstruction

I have made it through 8 treatments of radiation. I started turning pink on day 2 and I thought "Oh no, this isn't good!". I am staying lathered up and trying my best to not let it get too dried out. Only 25 more to go!!

I saw my plastic surgeon today. He is really nice. He said that my skin looks really really good so that made me feel better!! Avacado and Vit E cream is working well!! He also said that I may not have to wait a year for reconstruction!!! I was so surprised!!! And excited!!! I will see him at the end of Sept and he will evaluate me at that time. I will be in chemo again and we will see what my oncologist has to say about me having surgery during chemo. Not sure if that will fly as this chemo could knock down my white blood cells and I need as many of them as I can get to have surgery. We won't know until we are there, but I am excited that I may not have to wait until next Aug for reconstruction!!

I am so thankful for my good friend Rachel! She is walking the mall with me a couple times a week. I don't always want to do it but knowing that she will be there to walk with me makes me do it! I was told I can safely loose 1 lb a week so I am trying to eat better and walk. Hopefully eventually the walking will boost my energy but that is not the case thus far! Between my mom, OT, Cheryl O. and Rachel I will walk and get better and faster and will do great in Nov for the frostbite! I am so thankful for the support system that God has given me through this trial.

Ps. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there including my most wonderful husband, the best father in law I could ever ask for and my father, who I have been blessed to be able to get to know since this whole thing happened.

One Year to go!

I had my radiation mapping on Wed. It was very odd when they made the mold. It was a warm pad that was put under me and as I laid there it got puffy and hotter!! It then cooled off and hardened! I then had a CT scan so the radiation oncologist can see everything front to back and keep track of where my scar is. I will have 23 treatments to the whole area and then 7 boost treatments to just the scar. I start up on Tues.

I also have begun my herceptin. My first treatment was yesterday. I don't feel any different so that is good. My port was acting up though so it took a while to actually get the meds! Plus the pharmacy was running behind. I was given tylenol and benadryl before the meds. By the time the meds came I was ready to sleep and I ended up sleeping through the whole treatment. This will be my routine every 3wks for the next year.

I am praying that in June 2012, I will be done all the treatments and all the scans will come back with "No Evidence of Disease"! NED is what my goal is.

Another positive is that I have started walking again and plan to stick to it. I have a few people that will be harassing me if I slack off too much!! Plus my occupational therapist said I have to do the 5k in November that I did last year! My goal is to beat my time of 59min and actually NOT come in last!!! I know I can do it. With God's help I will do it and I will overcome this trial!

The Plan and My girl turns 6!

I have made the trip to Boston and saw Dr. Anderson. She is a great dr. to talk to. She said that there is no reason that I need to have the heavy duty chemo again. There are no studies that show hard chemo drugs given after surgery is helpful. She did mention another chemo drug called navelbine that may be used with the herceptin but she didn't know if she would give that to me or not. Herceptin in a must. This drug will help shut down the receptors that came back positive for cancer after surgery. It is given by IV every 3wks for a full year. Also she wants me on lupron and tamoxofin for 5yrs. These 2 drugs will suppress my ovaries and the hormones that are causing the cancer. Because I am on both of these I will be getting a bone density scan. I will get these every 3 months as the one lessens the density and the other helps it. Also I will still need radiation.

After leaving that appt I felt very good about all of this and I felt like we were back on track. Now I just had to wait for my Fri appt with my oncologist Dr. Ray.

Thursday I saw my OT, Joy, and she said I am doing fabulous and she actually discharged me!! I have almost all of my range of motion back and most of my strength back. I still need to do my stretches to remind the muscles of where they should be. I am also starting walking again. My goal is to get in shape, loose weight and be ready to beat my time in the Frostbite in Nov!!

Today I saw Dr. Ray. She was able to talk with Dr. Anderson and we now have a plan!! I will be getting my mapping done for radiation next week and I will also be starting on the herceptin. As soon as everything is ready I will be starting radiation 5x a week for 6 1/2wks. The appts are only 20-30min long so I am doing this right here in town. When I am done with the radiation I will start the navelbine. From what we have heard and read this is a much mellower chemo drug and the side effects are a lot easier. I will also be able to keep all or most of my hair too!!!

Next June, as long as there is no sign of disease I will be IN REMISSION!!!!

I also can't thank my Auntie Catherine enough. She has been such a huge huge help. She has come down for a week at a time almost every week since my surgery. She has cooked, cleaned, done laundry and taken care of my children. She has been such an amazing blessing!! I love you Auntie!!!

Last week my precious little girl turned 6!!! I can hardly believe it!! She started life with a lot of struggles between her hip displasia and her very weak muscles. Now she is a very strong little girl and has overcome many of her sensory issues. She is my struggle but also an amazing blessing!

Abby the day she was born:

Abby at 6yrs old!

I now pray that God will give me the strength to keep up the walking and keep pressing on as I continue on this road that He has put me on. I know that He will get me through the rest of my treatments and bring me into remission stronger than ever!!

Robert gets glasses and Information Overload

Robert has been having a hard time seeing and so we took him to the eye drs. We found out that he definatly needed glasses. We picked out a pair and an hour later picked them up. He is SO handsome!!!

Where to begin! 

I am healing well from surgery. I have started occupational therapy for my arm and it is going super well!! I have had a lot of range of motion come back so quickly! My body was ready for this! Emotionally I am ready for this too!! I just want to get back to "normal". 

I went to my first radiation oncologist appt on Thurs and it went well. The dr. explained all that was going to happen and we booked my "planning" appt. At this appt they will take a mold of my upper back and arms in the position I will need to be in for the treatment. This way I am in the exact same position every day. Then I will go to the surgical center and they will give me 4 tattoo dots. One below my clavicle, one in the center of my chest and one on either side of my body. These are permanent but are small and won't be very noticeable. These dots are to make sure their placement of the radiation is in the same place every day.

I went to my oncologist on Friday and she had a load of information for me. Upon the initial pathology report they found that I was ER/PR + and HER2 - (ER is Estrogen Receptor/ PR is Progesterone Receptor and HER2 is another receptor). They did another test called a FISH test and the findings showed I was ER/PR + and HER2 +. This is good as they can totally treat this. The bad news is that it means more chemo. It is a different kind and I will have to go through all the things I went through with my first chemo like loosing my hair. I don't have a lot but it is still really hard to loose what I just got!

The first thing my dr wants me to do is go back to Boston and see if there are any studies or trials that they have for someone like me. This isn't rare but it isn't that common. Also she wants to see if her plan of treatment is what Dana Farber would suggest. We are going on May 24th for a 9am appt on the 25th. 

I was suppose to start the planning and getting ready to start radiation. With this new information Bob and I feel that it would be best if I hold off on the radiation until this next course of chemo is over. If it acts like my first course there is no way I would be able to handle radiation 5x a week for 6 1/2 wks. Plus I would need a ride to radiation and that is just way too much to ask of anyone. 

I did get my next lupron shot so that is taken care of and one less thing to worry about. It also keeps my ovaries from putting out estrogen and keeps my risk of recurrence low.

With all this new information I was on overload and just cried and cried. I still feel like crying at times. This is the first time during this whole trial that I said "it's not fair". I did my chemo why do I have to go through it again? I know that God is in control and He has a reason but it really really stinks. 

I went through chemo and lost my hair. I went through surgery and lost my breast. Now I have to go through chemo AGAIN and AGAIN loose my hair. I don't have much but it is still so hard to think about starting over. 

God WILL carry me through.