Summer 2012

What a summer. It has been one thing after another after another.
As of my last post I was healing with the wound vac. June and July were filled with appointments and in July we had our church's VBS. It was so much fun but very draining!! The theme was the "Bug Zone". I had a blast with Richelle creating all of the fun snacks for the kids. The day after VBS was over Elijah asked God to forgive him of his sins!! It was amazing!!
Here are some of the fun VBS snacks we made and pics of my kiddos!!

                                                          Elijah is in the middle

                                 Robert reading one of the lessons they learned during the week.

                            Abby is 3rd from the left doing the motions to a song they learned

At the end of July I was having a lot of pain in my left abdomen. I was in pain in that spot since surgery but it was getting unbearable now. After seeing my surgeon he tried some antibiotics to see if it would subside. Of course that didn't work! The next step if the antibiotic didn't work was surgery.....again.

I was scheduled for surgery on Aug 21st, but due to the amount of pain I was in and that the antibiotic wasn't working, he moved my surgery up to Aug 14th. After surgery the dr. told me that he removed some scar tissue and we are hoping that that was the problem. He also closed up all the wounds and now I am healing once again.

I saw the surgeon last Friday and he took out about 1/2 the stitches. I will be going in 2 wks to get the rest of them out. I am healing pretty well. I am still very tired and can only do a couple of things before I am just wiped out. I am taking it easy and only doing what I can do.

Sept 6th (my late grandmother's birthday) will be my VERY LAST herceptin treatment!!!!! I am so excited to be finally done, but I am also dealing with some End of Treatment Blues. That will pass, but man it is no fun!!

With all my medical issues this summer we really haven't had a chance to go on any vacation. It has been really tough on the kids. They are very "needy" on the attention end of things. We do what we can but both Bob and I are very tired. We are planning on making it up to them next summer!!

As a last ditch effort to have a vacation, we are taking a long weekend trip to see my Aunt and Uncle in PA!!!!! I am healed enough for the trip. I will sleep during the trip and rest while we are there!! I can't wait to just get away!!!

I pray that God is bringing this chapter to a close. I am so ready to be done!!
I have learned this week that God's mercies are new every day and that He is my ever present help in need. Thank you Lord.

Recovery Spring 2012

I had no idea how big this surgery would be. Soon after I was awake, I was rolled into my room where I was greeted with my mom, dad and Bob! It was good to see them, even if I felt like I had been run over by a truck!!

The next day I was able to see my kids and my dad before he had to head home. I was sad to see him go but so glad he had been there.  Every day I saw Bob and the kids. My mom and Mary headed home the day after my dad. Again I was sad to see her go, but so so thankful she came down and that Mary had brought her.

A couple of days after surgery I started getting very high fevers of 102-103. They gave me antibiotics while I was there and 6 days after surgery I went home. I was still having fevers but the dr. thought I would do better at home. I questioned him but he thought this was best.

A few days went by and I continued to have the fevers. I called the dr. a couple of times and after a week home, I was readmitted to the hospital. They did blood work and other tests to figure out where the infection was coming from.  At that point I was put on IV antibiotics and kept in the hospital for another 4 days.

After all the testing they never did figure out where the infection was coming from.  I went home with IV antibiotics for 10 more days. It was really neat, I learned how to flush, hook up and unhook the IV ball to myself. As the antibiotic did it's job I felt better but my wounds got bigger. I was in a lot of pain too. I had a nurse coming every other day or so to redress my wounds.

Finally my wounds were clean and free of infection, but it had taken it's toll on my body. I had very large open wounds in 3 areas. I was then hooked up to the wound vac. It started on my tummy first and then gradually moved up to both sides.  After 2 weeks on the vac there are HUGE improvements in the depth and size of my wounds. Things are healing very well. In less than 2 weeks one side should be totally closed up!! The bad part is I will probably have the vac into mid July or later. Not how I want to spend my summer but "It is what it is" and I know that God is going to get me through this part too.

My surgeon said that he will have to even out things with another surgery and put on the finishing touches, so to speak. He said in 6 months and I told him "No!" There is no way I am going back into surgery in 6 months. We will see how I feel about things next year!!

"Love the Lord thy God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all thy might." Deut 6:5
"In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Prov. 3:6

Spring 2012

This spring has been full of challenges.

At the end of January we changed insurance companies, due to my husband's job change.  Because of this, the new insurance wouldn't cover my MUGA scans for my heart. Now I could only have an ECHO. Well we have no baseline for the ECHO so if they see ANYTHING irregular they have to do more testing to make sure that everything is really ok with my heart.  Don't you know they found an irregularity!! Surprised right??!! No. So I got to experience a nuclear stress test. This is like a regular stress test except they use a medication to raise your heart rate. This is NOT a fun test at all!!! I thought I was going to pass out from the medication but thankfully it was only for 30 seconds. For that reason the cardiologist has to be in the room when the test is done.

That test was done. Now I hoped to start back on herceptin, they can't give it to you if there is a question about your heart. Nope, I was to have a CT scan of my heart now because they couldn't see the whole heart. Doesn't sound too bad. But oh it is not fun either!! They have to get a good vein and force they dye thru your vein very very quickly to get the pictures of your heart. The first vein, yes I said the first vein, blew on the trial where they just used saline. Thankfully the 2nd vein didn't blow until the end of the test and they were able to get the pictures that they needed.  After all the testing they found that my heart was fine and I was able to start back on the herceptin. 

In March, I was diagnosed with a case of the shingles!! It was just one thing after another after another!! I just kept praying it would go away and I would stay healthy for surgery!! Thankfully the weeks and days leading up to surgery were healthy and busy with appointments but pretty uneventful.

April 14th my baby Elijah turned 5!! I can't believe how fast it has gone. We had a great party on his birthday and the next day my dad headed down to CT!! My mom and her friend Mary arrived on Monday. It was so much fun having both my mom and dad with me for the next surgery. We even got a bunch of family pictures done.

The next morning at the wee hours of the morning, my mom, dad and Bob took me to the hospital.  After I was prepped, everyone came in with me and we waited until it was time for the surgery. 

This too shall pass.....I hope!

It have been a very rough couple of weeks. I was having ear pain so I had an APRN look at my ears. The one ear looked fine and the other one had fluid but wasn't infected. Well within 3 days I had a terrible ear infection and sinus infection. I was put on a Z-Pak for 5 days. On day 5 I was still in pain. The next day was Sat and I went to the CVS minute clinic. The APRN there put me on another antibiotic for the sinus infection and the ear infection had cleared up. She put me on Omnicef which is a type of Penicillin. That night I saw a rash and wondered if an allergic reaction could be in one spot. On Sunday I was still in pain and itchy from the rash. I also felt like my throat was thick but didn't really worry about it. On Monday, I took the meds again and my throat felt thick again. As the morning went on I noticed that my throat was feeling tight, my tongue felt funny and I was having a hard time swallowing. I called my mother in law to take Eli and my friend to bring me to the ER as I was pretty sure I was having an allergic reaction to the new meds. They gave me benadryl, ativan and a steroid to end the reaction. After sleeping from the meds, when I woke up I felt so much better! They gave me a new med for the sinus infection and sent me home. I had to follow up with my doctor in a day or two. I then saw my regular doctor on Tuesday and she looked at my rash. She then informed me that she thought I had shingles!!!! I had to call her later that day or the next morning if it spread. I ended up calling her after hours service and was put on an antiviral med for the shingles.

Thursday I had my heart CT scan. That was a very horrible experience. They blew 2 veins when they put the contrast in for the test. Also the contrast that they use for this makes your entire insides feel like they are on fire! It is like horrid heartburn over your entire body. I am glad it was quick and that it is over. Now I am just waiting for this coming Thursday when I will be meeting with my cardiologist and then my oncologist to find out the results and hopefully start back on the herceptin.

Now I am a week out from being diagnosed with shingles and my arm that is prone to lymphedema has swollen up and become VERY painful. I saw the APRN at the center today and she confirmed that yup I have shingles and that it looks like they haven't blistered yet but are about to! How fun!! I also have to watch my arm. If it starts feeling warm or turning red and getting more painful then I have to go back to see them. Other wise I am just waiting for my appt on Monday with my lymphedema therapist.

Needless to say I am ready for a break in issues that are plaguing me.  Amidst all these issues I was able to see my mom, her hubby, my sister, brother in law and nephew. It was a wonderful day. It was so nice to see them all again and to finally do "Christmas" with them!!

I know that God has a reason for all that I am going through. It will make me stronger but I am ready for this trial to be over. The end of treatments and surgeries can't come soon enough. I am hanging in and holding on to God's promise that He will never leave me.

Winter 2011-2012

It has been a long time since I have posted here. So much has happened since then! We had a wonderful Christmas with family. The kids were spoiled and had a great time.

Before Christmas on Dec 13,2011 I had a hysterectomy/ oophorectomy.  They had found a polyp on one of my fallopian tubes during a regular ultra sound. They wanted me to have a D&C but I wasn't happy with that decision. I was suppose to get regular scans to make sure that I didn't develop ovarian cancer as that is related to the breast cancer. I would be scanned every 3months for the next 5yrs until I was 40 when they would do a hysterectomy/ oophorectomy.

After talking with my oncologist and my APRN we decided that the surgery would be the best way to go for me. I was already in temporary menopause so we were hoping that the side effects from surgery wouldn't be too different. We thought that this would be less stressful than being tested every 3 months, and if they found something then I would have a D&C and wait for the results for the next 5 years.

As we were planning this surgery I contacted all the doctors to make sure I could still do the Jan surgery.  All of them said that it would be fine. Well that is what all of the offices told me, but little did I know that the doctors were not on that same page!!  As I was discussing this surgery with my GYN oncologist I asked again about the Jan surgery. He said that there was no way he would say 5 weeks between surgeries would be enough. He called the other doctors and they agreed that it wasn't long enough. I was upset to push out the reconstruction but realized it was for the best. I called my surgeon's office and discovered that the next opening was in April. I booked it, hung up the phone and bawled my eyes out! I was devastated, but quickly tried to settle with the fact that this was for the best.

My hysterectomy went smoothly. Auntie Linda came up and took me and stayed with me after my surgery. Bob had started a new job the day before I was scheduled so he couldn't come with me.  Although he was able to come and stay until I went into surgery. That was thanks to Linda forgetting her phone at the house! Bob came to see me after work. By that time I was not quite as drugged and could carry on a conversation. The 3 of us had dinner together and then they headed home.

As I approached the 5wk out mark, I was glad I had postponed the Jan surgery. I continued to heal and continued to have my herceptin treatments. Herceptin can cause heart issues, so I have been having MUGA scans to check on my heart function, every 3 months. Bob's new insurance kicked in and we found out that they wouldn't cover the MUGA so we had to get an echo cardiogram.  I do not have a baseline echo and the doctors thought they saw something. To be sure that it wasn't an issue, I then was scheduled for a nuclear stress test. That is a stress test without the running/walking. Instead they inject a radioactive dye that causes your blood vessels to open up and simulate you exercising. It is easier to see the heart this way. It isn't fun though!!  I then wait for those results.  Everything they saw looked great, the problem (you had to know that was coming!! LOL) is that they couldn't see the front of my heart. Soooooooo, herceptin is still on hold and I will be going for a CT scan on Thurs.  I am expecting this to show that my heart is fine and continue with the herceptin next week.

Through all of this Robert has been struggling with his temper. He is very stressed out about school and the CMTs (Connecticut Mastery Tests) that are starting next month. We are working on different areas with him to help him learn how to "be angry and sin not".  We are seeing small improvements and are happy with the small victories.

We all have been fighting different viruses. Abby had pneumonia, Robert had croup and then breathing problems from it, so he is now on an inhaler for the time being. Eli is doing well, but we have discovered that if he gets a bad enough headache he will throw up like his dad and sister. Bob has been pretty healthy and I have had an ear infection and a horrible sinus infection. We are all on the mend and hopefully we will stay that way!

I just keep reminding myself that God is in control and He knows about everything that is going on. He has blessed me with an amazing husband and wonderful friends and family.

November 2011

This month has had it's ups and downs.
At the end of October we were faced with ultra sound results that showed a polyp in my uterus. With this new discovery came new decisions. My GYN wanted me to have a D&C to clean out the polyp. I started thinking about a total hysterectomy. If I had the D&C, I would continue to be tested every 3 months for the next 5 years, until I was 40 and then they would do the hysterectomy. I thought about this and didn't feel like going through checks every 3 months and then if they found something having the D&C and then waiting for the results praying that they were negative for cancer cells. We talked to my oncologist and my APRN oncologist and the 4 of us decided that it would be better, in my case, for me to have the hysterectomy and not to continue the tests for the next 5 years. This was such a relief that both drs. agreed with what I wanted to do. Dec 2nd I go for my pre-op appt with my GYN oncologist and then on Dec 13th I will be having my total hysterectomy. This is for prevention not for treatment.  My surgery for mastectomy and reconstruction is still scheduled for Jan 17, 2012.

On Nov 9th I completed my final treatment of Navelbine chemo. I was so glad to be done but also went through the grieving process of finishing a treatment. It amazes me how something good can still have a grieving process. But that is how it works with cancer treatments. Part of you morns when you finish a treatment because now you are not "actively" fighting it. This chemo was to help the herceptin work better so it was preventative and not actually fighting anything. The herceptin will continue until June 2012. After that point we are praying for the NED (No Evidence of Disease).

On Nov 15th Abigail had "surgery" to have tubes put in her ears. She had "gunky" fluid in her ears for over 3 months so they decided this would be the best thing for her. She also failed the hearing test in both ears at the ENT. She did VERY well and was so brave! I was so proud of her. She has been doing great since and is hearing so much better!

We spent Thanksgiving with my inlaws. It was a wonderful day full of food, family and fun!! We haven't spent Thanksgiving with Bob's family in a long time. Usually we see my family as we see his family every week. It was a nice change and it was good to just stay "home".  I have been very tired lately, even more than when I was on chemo. I have also been fighting a virus and am on my 2nd antibiotic of the season.

I heard a song on the radio a couple of weeks ago and it said exactly what we have been going through this past year. The only difference from the song is that I was 34 at the time of diagnosis.

Martina McBride – I’m Gonna Love You Through It
She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don’t discriminate
Or care if you’re just Thirty-Eight
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said I know that you’re afraid and I am too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry
I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
And now it’s forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
And she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said I don’t think I can do this anymore
He took her in his arms and said
That’s what my love is for
When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry
I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it
Oh baby
And when this road gets too long
I’ll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it
I’m gonna love you through it
I’m gonna love you through it

God is still in control and HE will continue to carry me through this challenge.  He will give me the strength and comfort I need to get through the next 4 months of surgery and recovery. I know He will also give my husband the strength he need and the comfort my children need. Soon we will be on the other side of this and be stronger for it.

October 2011

I can't believe another month has passed. This chemo is flying by! I only have 2 treatments left to go.
I had my scheduled ultra sound to keep an eye on my ovaries and uterus. I was told by the tech (never believe them!) that all looked ok. About a week and a half ago I received a call from my GYN Oncologist saying they found something on my ovary. I later found out that no my ovaries are fine but they did find a polyp in my uterus.

This scare made me rethink about getting tested every 3 months for the next 5 years. Every time they find something then I would have to go through a D&C (minor day surgery) to have it removed and tested. This is a whole lot more stressful than I was planning it would be.

After talking with my oncologist and my APRN and getting their opinions on this matter we decided that it would be in my best interest to do a full hystorectomy. I then called my GYN and she tried to talk me out of it. In the end she said "So you have basically made up your mind?" I replied "Basically".  I will be seeing my GYN Oncologist on Dec 2nd. I am hoping that having this surgery in Dec won't mess up my mastectomy/reconstruction surgery in Jan. Jan 17th to be exact! I want everything done so I can move on past Cancer and live my life.

January Surgery:

I will be going in on Jan 17th early in the morning. My mom, dad, Lisa and maybe my Aunt Linda will be here for the surgery. I know my mom will be staying for 3 or more days but I don't know how long anyone else is staying. I will be in the hospital for 5 days. Recovery will be 4 to 6 weeks. They will be doing what is called a Tram flap reconstruction with the 2nd mastectomy. They will do an incision from hip to hip and move the muscle and fat up for the reconstruction. So I get a mini tummy tuck out of this!! LOL

It will be a long recovery but we feel this is out best option given my age and the status of my skin at this point. If I was to have implants then in 10-12 yrs I would have to have them replaced if nothing went wrong with them before that point. Being almost 35 that would be another 4+ surgeries that would not be needed over my lifetime. The dr. can't say this will be my last surgery but it will be less than if I had implants. We are praying this is the last surgery.

On a very happy note, this month we celebrated Robert's 8th birthday!!! It is so hard to believe that my first born is already 8 years old and in the 3rd grade!! Time sure does fly.  He had his first "friend only" party and then a party with family. Everyone had a great time and I was fully exhausted by the end of the weekend!!

I am now headed toward November. 2 treatments left, my birthday and Thanksgiving. Minus any snow we get it will be a great month!!!

I am so thankful for all that God had blessed me with and how He continues to bless me even through this trial.