I saw my plastic surgeon a week ago. This was the first time I met him and he was really nice. He looked at my skin that is being radiated and he said that it looks really good. I have an appointment with him on Sept 30 to see how I am healing. I will be on chemo at that point. He said that it is up to my oncologist if I can have reconstruction during chemo. Knowing that this chemo will wipe out my white blood cells I pretty much knew that she would say no. I was right!! So hopefully by Jan/Feb I will be able to have my reconstruction. That is a whole 6 months sooner than I thought!!!! I am so excited!!
I had my 2nd herceptin treatment on Thurs. I ended up sitting beside an older woman who also has HER2 positive breast cancer. It was nice talking to someone traveling the same road I am. The funny thing is that she has a vacation home in NH and actually knew where Colebrook was!!!
They did the treatment over an hour instead of 1 1/2hrs and I felt more nauseaous when I got home than I did the last time. I am going to ask if they can slow it down again the next time. I have also not been able to sleep. My radiation oncologist gave me a prescription for ambien but it isn't helping a whole lot. When I spoke to my dr. today she said that the chemo could have effected the sleep section of my brain. Chemo brain is the worst!!
Today was treatment #14 of 33 and we just keep marching on. God is carrying me through these hard days and giving me the strength to do what is needed and being able to enjoy my children!
Radiation and Reconstruction
I have made it through 8 treatments of radiation. I started turning pink on day 2 and I thought "Oh no, this isn't good!". I am staying lathered up and trying my best to not let it get too dried out. Only 25 more to go!!
I saw my plastic surgeon today. He is really nice. He said that my skin looks really really good so that made me feel better!! Avacado and Vit E cream is working well!! He also said that I may not have to wait a year for reconstruction!!! I was so surprised!!! And excited!!! I will see him at the end of Sept and he will evaluate me at that time. I will be in chemo again and we will see what my oncologist has to say about me having surgery during chemo. Not sure if that will fly as this chemo could knock down my white blood cells and I need as many of them as I can get to have surgery. We won't know until we are there, but I am excited that I may not have to wait until next Aug for reconstruction!!
I am so thankful for my good friend Rachel! She is walking the mall with me a couple times a week. I don't always want to do it but knowing that she will be there to walk with me makes me do it! I was told I can safely loose 1 lb a week so I am trying to eat better and walk. Hopefully eventually the walking will boost my energy but that is not the case thus far! Between my mom, OT, Cheryl O. and Rachel I will walk and get better and faster and will do great in Nov for the frostbite! I am so thankful for the support system that God has given me through this trial.
Ps. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there including my most wonderful husband, the best father in law I could ever ask for and my father, who I have been blessed to be able to get to know since this whole thing happened.
I saw my plastic surgeon today. He is really nice. He said that my skin looks really really good so that made me feel better!! Avacado and Vit E cream is working well!! He also said that I may not have to wait a year for reconstruction!!! I was so surprised!!! And excited!!! I will see him at the end of Sept and he will evaluate me at that time. I will be in chemo again and we will see what my oncologist has to say about me having surgery during chemo. Not sure if that will fly as this chemo could knock down my white blood cells and I need as many of them as I can get to have surgery. We won't know until we are there, but I am excited that I may not have to wait until next Aug for reconstruction!!
I am so thankful for my good friend Rachel! She is walking the mall with me a couple times a week. I don't always want to do it but knowing that she will be there to walk with me makes me do it! I was told I can safely loose 1 lb a week so I am trying to eat better and walk. Hopefully eventually the walking will boost my energy but that is not the case thus far! Between my mom, OT, Cheryl O. and Rachel I will walk and get better and faster and will do great in Nov for the frostbite! I am so thankful for the support system that God has given me through this trial.
Ps. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there including my most wonderful husband, the best father in law I could ever ask for and my father, who I have been blessed to be able to get to know since this whole thing happened.
One Year to go!
I had my radiation mapping on Wed. It was very odd when they made the mold. It was a warm pad that was put under me and as I laid there it got puffy and hotter!! It then cooled off and hardened! I then had a CT scan so the radiation oncologist can see everything front to back and keep track of where my scar is. I will have 23 treatments to the whole area and then 7 boost treatments to just the scar. I start up on Tues.
I also have begun my herceptin. My first treatment was yesterday. I don't feel any different so that is good. My port was acting up though so it took a while to actually get the meds! Plus the pharmacy was running behind. I was given tylenol and benadryl before the meds. By the time the meds came I was ready to sleep and I ended up sleeping through the whole treatment. This will be my routine every 3wks for the next year.
I am praying that in June 2012, I will be done all the treatments and all the scans will come back with "No Evidence of Disease"! NED is what my goal is.
Another positive is that I have started walking again and plan to stick to it. I have a few people that will be harassing me if I slack off too much!! Plus my occupational therapist said I have to do the 5k in November that I did last year! My goal is to beat my time of 59min and actually NOT come in last!!! I know I can do it. With God's help I will do it and I will overcome this trial!
I also have begun my herceptin. My first treatment was yesterday. I don't feel any different so that is good. My port was acting up though so it took a while to actually get the meds! Plus the pharmacy was running behind. I was given tylenol and benadryl before the meds. By the time the meds came I was ready to sleep and I ended up sleeping through the whole treatment. This will be my routine every 3wks for the next year.
I am praying that in June 2012, I will be done all the treatments and all the scans will come back with "No Evidence of Disease"! NED is what my goal is.
Another positive is that I have started walking again and plan to stick to it. I have a few people that will be harassing me if I slack off too much!! Plus my occupational therapist said I have to do the 5k in November that I did last year! My goal is to beat my time of 59min and actually NOT come in last!!! I know I can do it. With God's help I will do it and I will overcome this trial!
The Plan and My girl turns 6!
I have made the trip to Boston and saw Dr. Anderson. She is a great dr. to talk to. She said that there is no reason that I need to have the heavy duty chemo again. There are no studies that show hard chemo drugs given after surgery is helpful. She did mention another chemo drug called navelbine that may be used with the herceptin but she didn't know if she would give that to me or not. Herceptin in a must. This drug will help shut down the receptors that came back positive for cancer after surgery. It is given by IV every 3wks for a full year. Also she wants me on lupron and tamoxofin for 5yrs. These 2 drugs will suppress my ovaries and the hormones that are causing the cancer. Because I am on both of these I will be getting a bone density scan. I will get these every 3 months as the one lessens the density and the other helps it. Also I will still need radiation.
After leaving that appt I felt very good about all of this and I felt like we were back on track. Now I just had to wait for my Fri appt with my oncologist Dr. Ray.
Thursday I saw my OT, Joy, and she said I am doing fabulous and she actually discharged me!! I have almost all of my range of motion back and most of my strength back. I still need to do my stretches to remind the muscles of where they should be. I am also starting walking again. My goal is to get in shape, loose weight and be ready to beat my time in the Frostbite in Nov!!
Today I saw Dr. Ray. She was able to talk with Dr. Anderson and we now have a plan!! I will be getting my mapping done for radiation next week and I will also be starting on the herceptin. As soon as everything is ready I will be starting radiation 5x a week for 6 1/2wks. The appts are only 20-30min long so I am doing this right here in town. When I am done with the radiation I will start the navelbine. From what we have heard and read this is a much mellower chemo drug and the side effects are a lot easier. I will also be able to keep all or most of my hair too!!!
Next June, as long as there is no sign of disease I will be IN REMISSION!!!!
I also can't thank my Auntie Catherine enough. She has been such a huge huge help. She has come down for a week at a time almost every week since my surgery. She has cooked, cleaned, done laundry and taken care of my children. She has been such an amazing blessing!! I love you Auntie!!!
Last week my precious little girl turned 6!!! I can hardly believe it!! She started life with a lot of struggles between her hip displasia and her very weak muscles. Now she is a very strong little girl and has overcome many of her sensory issues. She is my struggle but also an amazing blessing!
I now pray that God will give me the strength to keep up the walking and keep pressing on as I continue on this road that He has put me on. I know that He will get me through the rest of my treatments and bring me into remission stronger than ever!!
After leaving that appt I felt very good about all of this and I felt like we were back on track. Now I just had to wait for my Fri appt with my oncologist Dr. Ray.
Thursday I saw my OT, Joy, and she said I am doing fabulous and she actually discharged me!! I have almost all of my range of motion back and most of my strength back. I still need to do my stretches to remind the muscles of where they should be. I am also starting walking again. My goal is to get in shape, loose weight and be ready to beat my time in the Frostbite in Nov!!
Today I saw Dr. Ray. She was able to talk with Dr. Anderson and we now have a plan!! I will be getting my mapping done for radiation next week and I will also be starting on the herceptin. As soon as everything is ready I will be starting radiation 5x a week for 6 1/2wks. The appts are only 20-30min long so I am doing this right here in town. When I am done with the radiation I will start the navelbine. From what we have heard and read this is a much mellower chemo drug and the side effects are a lot easier. I will also be able to keep all or most of my hair too!!!
Next June, as long as there is no sign of disease I will be IN REMISSION!!!!
I also can't thank my Auntie Catherine enough. She has been such a huge huge help. She has come down for a week at a time almost every week since my surgery. She has cooked, cleaned, done laundry and taken care of my children. She has been such an amazing blessing!! I love you Auntie!!!
Last week my precious little girl turned 6!!! I can hardly believe it!! She started life with a lot of struggles between her hip displasia and her very weak muscles. Now she is a very strong little girl and has overcome many of her sensory issues. She is my struggle but also an amazing blessing!
Abby the day she was born:
Abby at 6yrs old!
I now pray that God will give me the strength to keep up the walking and keep pressing on as I continue on this road that He has put me on. I know that He will get me through the rest of my treatments and bring me into remission stronger than ever!!
Robert gets glasses and Information Overload
Robert has been having a hard time seeing and so we took him to the eye drs. We found out that he definatly needed glasses. We picked out a pair and an hour later picked them up. He is SO handsome!!!
Where to begin!
I am healing well from surgery. I have started occupational therapy for my arm and it is going super well!! I have had a lot of range of motion come back so quickly! My body was ready for this! Emotionally I am ready for this too!! I just want to get back to "normal".
I went to my first radiation oncologist appt on Thurs and it went well. The dr. explained all that was going to happen and we booked my "planning" appt. At this appt they will take a mold of my upper back and arms in the position I will need to be in for the treatment. This way I am in the exact same position every day. Then I will go to the surgical center and they will give me 4 tattoo dots. One below my clavicle, one in the center of my chest and one on either side of my body. These are permanent but are small and won't be very noticeable. These dots are to make sure their placement of the radiation is in the same place every day.
I went to my oncologist on Friday and she had a load of information for me. Upon the initial pathology report they found that I was ER/PR + and HER2 - (ER is Estrogen Receptor/ PR is Progesterone Receptor and HER2 is another receptor). They did another test called a FISH test and the findings showed I was ER/PR + and HER2 +. This is good as they can totally treat this. The bad news is that it means more chemo. It is a different kind and I will have to go through all the things I went through with my first chemo like loosing my hair. I don't have a lot but it is still really hard to loose what I just got!
The first thing my dr wants me to do is go back to Boston and see if there are any studies or trials that they have for someone like me. This isn't rare but it isn't that common. Also she wants to see if her plan of treatment is what Dana Farber would suggest. We are going on May 24th for a 9am appt on the 25th.
I was suppose to start the planning and getting ready to start radiation. With this new information Bob and I feel that it would be best if I hold off on the radiation until this next course of chemo is over. If it acts like my first course there is no way I would be able to handle radiation 5x a week for 6 1/2 wks. Plus I would need a ride to radiation and that is just way too much to ask of anyone.
I did get my next lupron shot so that is taken care of and one less thing to worry about. It also keeps my ovaries from putting out estrogen and keeps my risk of recurrence low.
With all this new information I was on overload and just cried and cried. I still feel like crying at times. This is the first time during this whole trial that I said "it's not fair". I did my chemo why do I have to go through it again? I know that God is in control and He has a reason but it really really stinks.
I went through chemo and lost my hair. I went through surgery and lost my breast. Now I have to go through chemo AGAIN and AGAIN loose my hair. I don't have much but it is still so hard to think about starting over.
God WILL carry me through.
Surgery Update
My surgeon called me earlier this week to give me the results of the pathology report. He was not the best news. 7 of the 19 lymph nodes that they took tested positive. Also they didn't get clear margins so that means that there are still cancer cells at the incision site. This was not what we were hoping for. So now to figure out what the best course of action will be from here, weather it be more chemo (different kind) or just radiation.
I saw my surgeon today and he said everything looks good. He said that I may not feel that way but from a surgical view it looks good. I was able to get one of my drains out. It didn't hurt to get it out, it was just a weird pressure. It felt good to get it out though. I still can't shower until the other drain is out so that is a bummer.
He also talked to my oncologist and felt that she prob won't want to do another round of chemo but that I will just have radiation. I will find out for sure on Thurs when I see my oncologist. For now my drs orders are for me to eat, walk and rest! So that is what I am doing.
I am also growing hair!!!! I have nice soft fuzzy BLONDE hair!!! It is the weirdest thing!! I wonder if it will stay blonde or if it will actually change to a darker color like what I had. Time will tell! Today Abby brushed my hair with a baby brush. It was so cute and sweet!! My children are amazing and such a blessing to me.
A nice "side effect" of surgery is my Aunt Catherine is here to help so Bob can go to work and everything is taken care of since I can't do much of anything. She has been here all week. It was such a blessing! We were discussing next week and the week after and Bob was going to take next week off and we had no idea what we were going to do the following week. Catherine said that she will come back on Wed. and will be here to help with whatever we need. It sounds like she will be here and go back and forth if she needs to, to be here and help us. She is such a sweet auntie!! I am so thankful that God has blessed us and made it possible for Catherine to be here and help us during my healing.
I saw my surgeon today and he said everything looks good. He said that I may not feel that way but from a surgical view it looks good. I was able to get one of my drains out. It didn't hurt to get it out, it was just a weird pressure. It felt good to get it out though. I still can't shower until the other drain is out so that is a bummer.
He also talked to my oncologist and felt that she prob won't want to do another round of chemo but that I will just have radiation. I will find out for sure on Thurs when I see my oncologist. For now my drs orders are for me to eat, walk and rest! So that is what I am doing.
I am also growing hair!!!! I have nice soft fuzzy BLONDE hair!!! It is the weirdest thing!! I wonder if it will stay blonde or if it will actually change to a darker color like what I had. Time will tell! Today Abby brushed my hair with a baby brush. It was so cute and sweet!! My children are amazing and such a blessing to me.
A nice "side effect" of surgery is my Aunt Catherine is here to help so Bob can go to work and everything is taken care of since I can't do much of anything. She has been here all week. It was such a blessing! We were discussing next week and the week after and Bob was going to take next week off and we had no idea what we were going to do the following week. Catherine said that she will come back on Wed. and will be here to help with whatever we need. It sounds like she will be here and go back and forth if she needs to, to be here and help us. She is such a sweet auntie!! I am so thankful that God has blessed us and made it possible for Catherine to be here and help us during my healing.
Surgery
Wed, the day before surgery my mom and her friend Lisa and my sister, brother in law and nephew all arrived to be with me the next day! I was so glad to see them. Then a vehicle drove by slowly and my sister asked who that was. I said I don't know prob. someone looking for a house. Well then the van pulled in my driveway and to my surprise it was my Aunt Linda!!!!! FROM PA!!!!! I was so surprised and so glad that she and my cousin were here!! Wed night was so much fun with all of them here! It took my mind off the next day.
Surgery was scheduled for 8:30am April 21st. We got to the hospital at 6:30am After they did the prep and IV and all that stuff my mom, sister, aunt and Bob came in to stay with me until they brought me back to surgery. I remember them telling me they were going to give me a sedative and shortly after that I remember seeing the lights in the OR and then I was out until after the surgery. It took longer than the dr. thought it would, but the dr is the perfectionist type and will get everything he can. Surgery went well and he got everything that looked bad. We won't have any results until the pathology results come back.
The first night in the hospital I didn't sleep much at all. I was in pain and just couldn't get comfortable. It was a long night. The next day was great! I had visitors all day and had a little break in the afternoon to take a nap and then more visitors! That afternoon though my IV infiltrated my arm. I was visiting and then noticed that my arm was hard as a rock and was swollen. So my nurse quickly took out that IV and attempted another one, that didn't work and had to try again. Thankfully that one worked. So I had warm packs on my arm to help it feel better.
After my dr. saw me he said I wasn't going anywhere and so I stayed another night. Good thing because the IV meds they were giving me I had an allergic reaction to!! I started itching all over and called my nurse and she gave me benadryl. Then after that she gave me morphine and then for pain I had percocet which is what I am on now for pain.
Sat I saw my dr and he said that he would see me at the end of this week and I was good to go home! I felt so much better about going home on Sat than I did on Fri. My son Robert came with my hubby to get me and bring me home. He was just so excited to see me and to bring me home. My kids missed me so much and I missed them too!! I missed the kitties too. With the leg things that helped with my circulation on my legs when they would inflate I would wake up and think my cat was on my legs!! Everyone was glad I was home!!
My mom and Lisa made Easter dinner for us, which was so yummy!! They went home early afternoon on Sunday. That afternoon, I slept and the kids played and then my mother and father in law and hubby's aunt came over to visit for a little while. It was good to see them again too.
My Aunt Catherine came today! It was so good to see her again! She is staying for the week so that Bob can work this week and he will take next week off. She played with Eli this afternoon and then Bob took her and the kids to get dinner(chinese) and show her where the kids go to school, while I snoozed! Abby is loving Auntie Catherine already!!!
I am still pretty sore and have to keep my arm elevated and rest it at least thru next week. I see my dr. on Friday and we will see if he takes my drains out then or if we have to keep them in longer. After I see him hopefully we will have the pathology reports so we know what the next step is. For now it is resting and healing from surgery.
Thank you to everyone who has prayed and helped and who was here during the surgery. I have been so so blessed with all of you in my life!! I love you all!!!
Surgery was scheduled for 8:30am April 21st. We got to the hospital at 6:30am After they did the prep and IV and all that stuff my mom, sister, aunt and Bob came in to stay with me until they brought me back to surgery. I remember them telling me they were going to give me a sedative and shortly after that I remember seeing the lights in the OR and then I was out until after the surgery. It took longer than the dr. thought it would, but the dr is the perfectionist type and will get everything he can. Surgery went well and he got everything that looked bad. We won't have any results until the pathology results come back.
The first night in the hospital I didn't sleep much at all. I was in pain and just couldn't get comfortable. It was a long night. The next day was great! I had visitors all day and had a little break in the afternoon to take a nap and then more visitors! That afternoon though my IV infiltrated my arm. I was visiting and then noticed that my arm was hard as a rock and was swollen. So my nurse quickly took out that IV and attempted another one, that didn't work and had to try again. Thankfully that one worked. So I had warm packs on my arm to help it feel better.
After my dr. saw me he said I wasn't going anywhere and so I stayed another night. Good thing because the IV meds they were giving me I had an allergic reaction to!! I started itching all over and called my nurse and she gave me benadryl. Then after that she gave me morphine and then for pain I had percocet which is what I am on now for pain.
Sat I saw my dr and he said that he would see me at the end of this week and I was good to go home! I felt so much better about going home on Sat than I did on Fri. My son Robert came with my hubby to get me and bring me home. He was just so excited to see me and to bring me home. My kids missed me so much and I missed them too!! I missed the kitties too. With the leg things that helped with my circulation on my legs when they would inflate I would wake up and think my cat was on my legs!! Everyone was glad I was home!!
My mom and Lisa made Easter dinner for us, which was so yummy!! They went home early afternoon on Sunday. That afternoon, I slept and the kids played and then my mother and father in law and hubby's aunt came over to visit for a little while. It was good to see them again too.
My Aunt Catherine came today! It was so good to see her again! She is staying for the week so that Bob can work this week and he will take next week off. She played with Eli this afternoon and then Bob took her and the kids to get dinner(chinese) and show her where the kids go to school, while I snoozed! Abby is loving Auntie Catherine already!!!
I am still pretty sore and have to keep my arm elevated and rest it at least thru next week. I see my dr. on Friday and we will see if he takes my drains out then or if we have to keep them in longer. After I see him hopefully we will have the pathology reports so we know what the next step is. For now it is resting and healing from surgery.
Thank you to everyone who has prayed and helped and who was here during the surgery. I have been so so blessed with all of you in my life!! I love you all!!!
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