The one thing.....

The one thing that freaks me out the most is a blood transfusion.

Today I had my blood work done to check my counts and my white cell counts are good, my red cells on the other hand are very bad. I went from 9 and 28 to 8 and 26 which is a huge drop (so I am told, I have no idea!!). So I get the exciting experience of a blood transfusion tomorrow morning. I am not looking forward to this. This was the one thing that scared me the most. The thought of someone else's blood in my body freaks me out. I know they are safe and all, it is just the one thing that I was hoping to NOT have to do.

My nurse, Gloria, is great though. I am so thankful that I got her for my nurse.

On another note, it looks like surgery will be scheduled for the 3rd week in April!!! I can't believe we are scheduling surgery and that I have an appt with a plastic surgeon!! That means chemo is almost over!!! It seems like an eternity since I was diagnosed and now I am getting ready for the next step.


The transfusion went well today. I got a little sick tummy but that was it. I did tear up a bit when my nurse came in with the unit but she said this is a war and this is just what we have to do to fight this battle.
I love the consent you have to sign when you have a transfusion. We are not responsible if you get this or that disease from the transfusion!! LOL GREAT!

I should get stronger from this so that is good!

Good Week!

Monday we met with Dr. White the surgeon. He asked me what my thoughts were for surgery and agreed that it was a reasonable plan. The only thing he wasn't too fond of was the tissue expander as he said that there were some studies that showed that it really didn't work after having radiation so I am totally fine with having the other reconstruction surgery that doesn't include the expander.

He also gave us the number for a plastic surgeon. I can't believe that I am going to be seeing a plastic surgeon!! It sounds so uppity!! LOL It is amazing to think that we are already getting to that point were we have to start talking about all these things! Progress!!

I had my first taxol treatment yesterday. It went very well, I slept through most of it! I had a tiny amount of nausea last night and the compazine helped that. Today was pretty good too. My good friend took the kids all day when they weren't in school, so I had the whole day to sleep and rest. It was wonderful. I laid in bed all day!!!! I feel good but still very tired. I can handle that! I hope that each of the next 3 treatments go just as well.

I am so thankful for all of the friends that God has blessed me with. Each of you have been such a blessing to me through this trial, and I could never thank each of you enough. I am so very loved and blessed!!

The battle rages on

There are some days when the battle seems to be harder than others and the soldier just needs to rest. This past week has been that way.  The side effects of the chemo, neulasta, and the lupron shot seem to be taking over. Extreme exhaustion, hot flashes and just not having energy is wearing on me.

Today I have the swollen throat side effect. It is just not a good week. I feel like my house is caving in around me and the mess is so overwhelming that I can't stand it. Yet I sit and look at it because it took all the energy I had just to cut up cheese and ham and get crackers for the kids for lunch. My entire body aches and every little task takes all I have. I am so ready to be done with this yet I have a long road to go. The hormones are driving me crazy. I cry at every little thing and I have no idea what I am even crying about. I keep waiting to feel normal again, but I am not sure when that will ever happen.

I know that God will get me through this. There are just some days that feel like this battle won't end. I know that I must be strong enough to handle this but this week I don't feel strong enough to handle much of anything.

Please pray for God's Grace and strength each day as I battle on.

HALF WAY

I am officially half way thru my chemo!!!! In 2 wks I will start the taxol. This is suppose to be easier on the GI tract but not so nice on the neuro stuff. I have trigeminal neuralgia (facial pain that comes and goes) so I am sure that will act up. Thankfully I have the meds for that now so I can get it in my system and hopefully it won't be so bad. The BEST part (sarcastic!) is the 5 pills of STEROIDS the night BEFORE AND the Morning of chemo!!! I am going to be talking so fast and moving around like crazy. I was crazy on 3 of them!!! Should be fun!!!

I am also getting a lupron shot tomorrow. This will basically put me into a temporary menopause. Can't wait! (dripping with loads of sarcasm!). I already have hot flashes so this means I get to enjoy my own personal summer while the rest of you freeze!!! :) Thankfully I "get" to enjoy this in the winter and not the summer!! There is always an up side!!

Tomorrow I head to Hartford again for the lupron and I going to bring my neulasta and just have that done there too. Then I don't have to worry about how to dispose of the syringe!

Have I mentioned how much I love my friends and family??!!!! They are the best that anyone could ask for!!! Jen is taking the kids tomorrow and thurs next week and Erin is coming and taking Abby out for the morning then will come back and make lunch, get her on the bus,  and feed Eli when he gets home!!!! I am so thankful for all the friends and family that God has given to me. Oh and we got a great dinner tonight and another coming tomorrow and Monday!!! Not only do we have the best friends/family, they can cook!!!!

So a very good day today. Now to rest for the next 4-5days and get through the side effects when/if they hit me!

Stuff

This week started with a trip to radiology at 6:30 am on Monday.  My dr. wanted to check the progress chemo is making. I have checked the lump and it is def. harder to find!!!! I am so thankful that chemo is working. It makes all the side effects worth it!

Today I made another trip to Hartford. I have a terrible cough and woke up with a fever. Due to the fever I knew I had to go in. They did a blood draw for cultures and checked my levels. Due to my 10 day (so far) cycle I was a bit concerned. Thankfully my counts are good and with a script for a z pak and a bag of fluids in me I was sent home.

Thurs I will be seeing my GYN due to the long cycle and then off to chemo. This will be my last A/C treatment and I will be 1/2 way thru!!! I am actually excited to get this treatment over and me half done!!!

For now I am to rest, rest, rest and drink, drink, drink!!

Genetic Testing and 2nd Opinion

Genetic Testing

I got my genetic testing results back. I am one of the lucky 2% that come back with a defective gene that they can't tell if it is poss. or neg! How fun. So my family is willing to get tested and see if any of them carry it. This will help determine if it is indeed genetic or not but it is mostly for research as they have never seen this variation before!!! CRAZY!!! So no real results except that I think a double mastectomy is in my future. We will see what the doctors have to say about the ovaries.

2^nd Opinion

What a great day it was at Dana Farber. That place is amazing and the people are so kind and wonderful to work with. We saw the oncologist Dr. Karen Anderson (one of the top docs in her field) first. She was so good at explaining things in terms that we can understand. She did her exam and then came back to explain what she sees and what treatment options I have. She said that the type of chemo I am getting right now is exactly what I would get from her. So we are on the right path attacking this from the inside. She also said that since the tumor has already shrunk some my body and cancer is responding very well to the chemo to kill it!! She said that this usually shows less of a chance of recurrence!! It isn’t guarrenteed but it is a good sign!

After I finish all the chemo treatments I will be having surgery of some type and then will be looking at 7wks of radiation. This will consist of 5 days a week for 7 weeks. The treatment is short (1/2hr) and hopefully we can do that in Enfield so I don’t have to go to Hartford EVERY DAY!!! Radiation is a given no matter what the surgery is that I have. Once all of these treatments are complete I will be put on Tamoxifen for 5yrs to keep the estrogen levels down to lower the risk for a recurrence. This is also the standard treatment.

Next we saw Dr. Susan Troyan the surgeon. She also did an exam and then came back to discuss my surgical options. This was the main reason for the 2^nd opinion. This was also the scariest part of this whole thing for me.

Dr. Troyan said that given that my tumor has shrunk already from the chemo and seemed to be mobile that I would be a good candidate for a lumpectomy. She did say that there are some calcifications on that side that could be absolutely nothing or they could be cancerous. They won’t be able to tell until they get in there and get pathology reports on those calcifications though.

Option 1: Lumpectomy and wait for path to tell us about the calcifications. If there are unclear borders of the tumor then I would need a 2^nd surgery to go in and try to clean up the borders (take more out). This would be a day surgery and I would need 2wks recovery at home.

Option 2: Mastectomy. This would eliminate a 2^nd surgery for the calcifications if there was a problem. With this surgery they would/could put in a skin expander for the reconstruction. I would be in the hospital for 2-3 days and then would recover at home for 3-4 wks.

Option 3: Double Mastectomy. Due to the unknown results of the genetic testing this may be an option to avoid a second or recurrent cancer. One thing I found out is that if I do decide on a double I would not have to have it done at the same time. I could do the one side and then when the radiation is done and 6 months has gone by after the end of radiation then they would do the 2^nd side with reconstruction of both sides. This is a consideration given the unknown genetic test results.

Ovaries: We may want to keep these as long as possible!! If I have a recurrence or feel that, again due to the unknown genetic test results, I want them out to lower the risk of ovarian cancer, I can have that done at a later time closer to menopause.

One thing I have realized through this is that this will be a fight I will be dealing with for the rest of my life. Once the cancer is gone it doesn’t mean that I am done with it and never have to worry about it again. When you are diagnosed you know it will be a lifetime battle but it really doesn’t sink in until you are looking at decisions that don’t have to be made for years and years to come!

So as you can see we had a lot of information given to us but it was an incredible day. I feel more at ease given all these different options and knowing that we can do things slowly and not all at once.

I am also so thankful that God held the snow off for our trip and that Cheryl L. could come with us! She had some great questions and really helped us remember all the questions we had and get all the information we did.

The next step with be to talk with my surgeon and see what he has to say about all the options and what he thinks is the best thing to do.

For right now I am headed to my LAST A/C chemo next thurs!!!! That will put me at the ½ way mark in my chemo and the next half will be more tiring but I won’t be nauseous like I have been on the A/C!!! I am actually excited to get that treatment done! Almost half way there and the tumor is already smaller!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

New Hair

I had a great morning with my sister in law Suza!! We went to the mall and checked out the wig shop. The guy was a bit hard to understand, but was so helpful and kind!!! The first one that I picked out ended up being the one I got!!! He showed me how to style it and fix it any way I want. It is soft and so easy to play with. Of course Bob showed the pictures to the kids on the phone and they said I looked like Harry Potter!! Nice huh!!!

Then we hit target and enjoyed a great lunch of soup, salad, and breadsticks!! Oh so yummy!!! Then off to old navy and I found nada but Suza got a jean skirt for under $5!!!

Once home EVERYONE had to try on the wig!! It was quite funny!! So without further ado here are the pictures!

Robbie!

Elijah!

 Abby!

 Even Bob had to try it on!!

 Now for the real owner!!

I really really like it!! This picture doesn't show the highlights but it is perfect!!!

What a great day, now for a nap!!!